Brother, sister

(Jane is crying.)
Thomas: Jane's sad, Mama.
Me: Yeah, I know. I'm not sure what she's upset about.
(Actually, I knew why she was sad. She was sad because I took a toy away from her in order to change her out of her onesie that was covered with food. Jane does not like to be changed.)
Thomas: I know why she was sad. She was sad because she couldn't see me.
(He wasn't wrong. She stopped crying the moment she saw him.)

Phoning it in

Kids know when you are just phoning it in. Particularly when it comes to play. Last night we were playing battle. Usually I am full of sound effects, but last night I was preoccupied about something, so I was doing the sword fight while thinking about something else. Five seconds into the battle, and this happens:

Thomas: Stop, mama! Use your mean face!
Me: Oh, ok. (I oblige, and we continue.)
Thomas: (Another five seconds later) No mama! Use your mean words!

Your big bum

As Thomas was doing a number two on the toilet tonight, he asked me an interesting question--

Thomas: Mama, why do you weewee with your big bum?
(I think he was asking why I didn't pee standing up.)

Later on, as I finished helping him brush his teeth--

Thomas: Mama, I think I have a cavity. Right here.
Me: That's terrible. We had better make an appointment to see the dentist.
Thomas: What's her name?
Me: Dr. Ivy.
Thomas: No! I don't want to see Dr. Ivy. I want to see a superhero dentist! With a superhero out the window.

I don't want you to do that

No one can more effectively teach a lesson than a little kid on how to be parent a baby.

I was nursing Jane in bed this morning when Thomas crawled into my bed. Of course Jane completely abandons boob and turns to look at her brother. After a few many unsuccessful attempts to get her to focus on her morning milk, I was exasperated. I needed to get out of bed, dress myself and Thomas, get his breakfast, pep him for school, and actually get on the road. (For those who do not have kids, you calculate the amount of time it takes you to accomplish said tasks, and multiply that time by two, then add another 10 minutes.) Of course, you can't get too mad at a 6-month-old for preferring her brother to boob.

Me: (half jokingly) No Jane, don't do that. Focus on milk. Focus.
(My words had no effect whatsoever.) Jane, that's just no good right now.
Thomas: (still lying in my bed) I don't want you to do that.
Me: Do what?
Thomas: I don't want you to talk to Jane like that.

Thanks you Thomas for teaching me how to be a better Mama. I love you.

Facebook export and old quotations

Did you know that you can export all the content of your Facebook account? This is fantastic news, because I can now archive all of Thomas' funny quotations from the past. It's amazing to see his verbal development since he turned two. This one was from age 2 years 3 months.

January 27, 2011
Thomas: I'm bill-ning a bid ripey robot.
Me: You're building a big stripey robot?
Thomas: Yes.

Poons

Thomas: I need a poo.
(I scramble to get him to the toilet. He looks at me as I lift him onto his Buzz Lightyear toilet seat, bewildered.)
Thomas: I don't need a poo!
Me: I thought you said you needed to poo.
Thomas: No. I need a poon.
Me: A poon? There are plenty of Poons around here.
(My maiden name is Poon. And we're living with my parents. So there are several of us Poons around the house.)
Thomas: Not a poon. A 'poon.
(Silence)
Thomas: I want a fork.